A few months ago, I had a doctor’s appointment with my then oncologist about an hour away from home. I live in the country and so I don’t get to the “big city” often, but when I do I try to take advantage of some of the finer things in life. And that means, shopping.
Listen, you can take the girl out of Lululemon, but you can’t take Lululemon out of the girl.
I planned for some time to kill prior to my appointment and needed a new pair of dress shoes. I was weeks away from a trip to Napa Valley that I had earned at work. They had planned a formal evening where we were expected to give a speech while being handed our award for excellence in sales. I had found a stunning red dress with an asymmetrical shoulder line, the perfect pair of gold dangly earrings, but had no shoes to match.
I walked into Famous Footwear and ventured through the aisles of the latest styles and nothing spoke to me. This was the 4th shoe store I had visited and my “low expectations” shopping mindset was quickly waning. I made my way back to the clearance racks and tried on a few pairs that would have sufficed, but didn’t do that thing that shoes can do to a woman.
“Buy us! You deserve us! Treat. Yo’. Self!”
Looking at the clock, I knew I was pushing it and so I took one final glance as I made my way to the front of the store. That’s when I saw them…
Years ago, I bought a pair of strappy high-heeled nude sandals. By nature, high heels are not supposed to be comfortable. Add “strappy” to the description and they quickly become instruments of torture. I’ve been warned by more mature friends that my days of wearing sexy heels are almost gone, but somehow these shoes were both fashionable and incredibly comfortable. If you didn’t know this (likely because you are a man), we women go to battle with our shoes. Wearing them a few times, living through blisters and cuts as we break them in and force them into submission for the sake of FASHION! It is really quite stupid, but I prefer to think it’s for a good cause.
These magic sandals became a staple in my wardrobe. They’d walked cobblestoned streets in Columbus, volunteered 8 hours teaching real world finance to 7th graders and got me through many a business meeting with little to no effort. Non-plussed by their effortless appeal and versatility, I also knew their days were numbered.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the last bits of the size 10 clearance items when I did an immediate double take.
“No.” I thought to myself. “They couldn’t possibly…”
And yet, there. Sitting amidst other lonely last chance shoes, were MY sandals! Brand spanking new and out-of-place, I was sure these size 9 pumps were somehow put there by God himself.
I scooped those babies up and took them proudly to the counter. Beaming, I explained to the woman running the shop that my bi-weekly oncology appointment was looming and this shopping trip was God’s way of reminding me He still loved me.
“Kismet,” I told her.
“Oh girl, and they are on SALE! $14!,” she cheered.
Holy SHEEYOT! I can still justify finding the gold ones for the red dress, I thought.
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The shoes sat in their box for a few weeks before packing them for my last business trip before my scheduled double mastectomy. As I was planning my wardrobe, I proudly pulled the box out and in true 90’s kid/Tetris champion fashion, I made sure to leave just enough space to fit them in alongside my other five pairs of shoes.
I hear that judgement. Shoes are essential and the most difficult part of a well-balanced travel wardrobe. If you know, you know.
I had four glorious work-filled days in sunny Florida ahead of me. Each outfit picked with distinct purpose. Each to offer the impression that I didn’t spend a lot of time trying to look like I spent a lot of time. On day two, I pulled out one of my favorite jumpsuits from Athleta and the magic shoes, ready to conquer the world and the business meetings I had planned for the day. As I leaned down to strap into the sandals, I noticed one little problem.
“Two RIGHT shoes! What the hell am I going to do with TWO RIGHT SHOES????!!”
I panicked. These were the carefree solution to my business casual/resort chic look I was going for. Not just today, but all week. I couldn’t possibly get through the next three days with my super uncomfortable patent leather pumps or my Birkenstocks.
Now this is the part that I’m hesitant to share. Much like that unfiltered, make-up free, early morning Instagram post, you may decide not to be my friend after I admit this.
I put the other right shoe on my left foot.
Taking a serious look in the mirror, I asked myself three questions.
“Will anyone notice?”
“Will this be uncomfortable?”
“What is the worst that could happen?”
After considering that I’d likely spend the day walking in a circle, I gave up the dream of wearing these second chance sandals and opted to dress down the attire with my Birkenstocks. Thankfully, these were the higher-end style with a gold buckle. They could easily get me through the day until I could take a Lyft to the Orlando outlet malls and find myself a proper replacement.
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I decided to end my last work trip with a bucket list trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. On that last day, I walked the mile from my hotel to the entrance of Universal Studios and just so happened to get there ten minutes shy of the park opening. It was chilly and the crowds were small and when I stepped onto Diagon Alley, I had the whole place almost to myself. It was incredible. I went straight to Ollivander’s to shop for a wand, filled up on Butterbeer, bought a Hogwarts zip up and road the rollercoaster at Gringotts with the entire thing to myself.
Pro-tip: If you have never visited an amusement park alone, you are missing out. I road every ride as a “single rider” with no wait times in the very front seat. Life goals!
By 1PM, I had pretty much exhausted all I cared to ride and headed back to my hotel. With the rest of the day ahead of me, I debated on laying low or doing more exploring.
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It had been 35 years since I’d last been to Epcot. I remember my parents enjoying the psuedo trip around the world and my brother and I watching the fireworks with our new friends—Carly and Aaron—from Down Under. Other than that, I don’t remember much. I’ve had numerous friends tell me, it’s so much more fun to visit as an adult. So, with nothing to lose, I grabbed a ticket online and a Lyft, and off I went.
I took my time walking through the park, in no hurry to be anywhere but present. As I meandered through each country, I popped into shops and carefully chose gifts for my kids, my parents, my partner and his daughter. By the time I got to “Mexico” my hands, my stomach and my heart were full.
It was about 8PM by the time I popped into the last souvenir shop near the famous Spaceship Earth. I picked up a couple more items and intended to order my Lyft back to the hotel, when something stopped me. I found a quiet place to rest my shopping bags and proceeded to bawl my eyes out for the next 15 minutes.
This was my last big trip before heading into a surgery that would radically change my life. The last of what would be five total pathologies that would either confirm I was cancer-free, or that I had more fighting to do. The final few hours to live unattached from reality of what was waiting for me back in Ohio. To pretend for a minute that breast cancer wasn’t calling the shots. And I cried in gratitude for the gift of having people in my life to buy gifts for. As the imaginary world and real world were about to collide, I was simply grateful for all of it.
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I wish I could say that my trip home was effortless, but reality punched me in the face with cancelled flights, an hour of on-hold music and a reroute through Chicago. It also let me know what I had bought WAY too much to fit in my mid-size luggage, so I had to choose a few things to leave behind. One last look back on my room, and I took a mental picture of those “two right shoes” as a reminder that sometimes when even our best laid plans fail us, it’s the truly unplanned road that is full of awe and wonder.
When I got to the airport, I realized I had inadvertently left my AirPods back in the room, so I purchased a replacement set and called the maintenance guy at the hotel who promised to ship them back to me first thing Monday morning.
On Wednesday, back to the daily grind and the balancing act of work and kids and adulting, the dogs barked as the UPS driver brought a package up to the front door. It didn’t dawn on me what it was until I opened it.
In that box, alongside my AirPods, were my “two right shoes.” What I had meant to leave behind, had made it back to me all along. Perhaps the staff at the hotel noticed the dilemma. Perhaps they thought (just like I had) as they packaged them up, “What the hell does someone do with two right shoes?”
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I could be wrong, but I think the answer is pretty simple. You just put one foot in front of the other…and walk on.
